I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
