When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
