When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
