Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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