Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
