What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
