Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
