sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
