I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
