i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
