I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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