I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i believe in u and ur pee
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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