big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
