I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
