it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
