You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
