Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize