Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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