he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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