then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
