so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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