Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
