2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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