walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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