Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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