Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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