i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
