Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
