If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
