we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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