I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
