apparently the secret to your success is patron
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
