One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
