Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize