haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
