It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
