Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
