Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
