It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
