I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
