I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
