Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she peed on how many people?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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