The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
