Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize