nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
