He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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