I didn't shave. On purpose
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
