Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
