the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
barbara walters just said penis...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
