She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
