i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
