so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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