too bad you live with your parents still
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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