Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize