its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if only i could text you this smell
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
