a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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