I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
