My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
