Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
