he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
