i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
