Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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