Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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