I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
