well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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