What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
vagina is talking i cant
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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