Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize