His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
